5 months ago

How to Stop Having Negative Thoughts and Start Thinking Positive

Why do I have such a hard time staying positive?

It’s hard, right?

Keeping your thoughts positive all of the time.

Is it even possible to maintain a positive mindset 24/7?

The answer is no.

It is not like we get up every day with the intention of thinking negatively- all day.

There are no bestselling books on “How to think negative and win friends".”

We are just wired that way.

I say that because we are just way too hard on ourselves, and someone needs to hear this… or read this.

Studies show that the average human brain processes 6,000-70,000 thoughts per day.
 75% of those thoughts are negative. 95% of those thoughts are repetitive.

WTF?!

So what can we do about that?

We take back control.

If you took your brain out and put it on a table- it is powerless.

It cannot do anything.

you know why?

YOU are not giving it any directions.

So stop thinking that your brain is in control- because its not.

You are!

Negativity Bias

During the course of evolution human beings were given something called “negativity bias".

Negativity bias- 
A survival trait passed on through our DNA since the beginning of time,
 instilled within us to respond to threatening situations.

Sadly enough, this trait got stronger as generations passed by, and many of us experience feelings of fear on a constant basis. Thus, leaving us overloaded with negative thoughts and feelings.

We have to tell our brains that all is well. And when its not, it is our responsibility to ourselves to not let negative thinking get the better of us.

Let us take a deeper look...

Do our beliefs shape our experiences or do our experiences shape our beliefs?

Our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors all play a vital role in the way we process our thoughts,
 and there has always been an ongoing debate on which one of those comes first, 
but that is a topic for another day.

The thoughts we think shape our beliefs, and it is those same beliefs that shape the way we think. 
You are more than welcome to read that again if you must.

Most of our beliefs come from the conditioning of our childhood. They can also be from a result of traumatic or unhealthy experiences.

Our brain has the tendency to replay negative, traumatic, and unpleasant events, that in turn, 
hold us *mentally hostage*, and for some, keep us in some very dark places.

Ongoing research seeks to answer the question- Why do our brains deliberately prefer to focus on the negative, rather than the positive?

Every person experiences life from their own unique perspective, 
therefore, reality is uniquely subjective, and the effects of those  realities are determined 
by the root causes experienced by each individual event.

Furthermore, when a group of people experience an event collectively, positive or negative, 
the effects of the experience will  differ due to the prior conditioning of each individual.

To gain a clearer perspective on your own thought-based-belief system, ask yourself- 
why you think and act the way you do, 
respectfully.

Take some time and sit with yourself to understand who you are at the core of your being. 
It is not enough anymore to live your life with the blindfold on. When you face yourself and accept yourself for who you are, 
you are taking back your power, you no longer allow outside influences dictate your thoughts, your words, or your behaviors.

Where do we go from here?

Fortunately, tools and resources have become more widely available to support us on our pathway to thinking positive.

First and foremost- Do your research, please. As much as I read articles and blog posts, such as this, I often research information on my own and draw my own conclusions.

When I began my healing journey,
 motivational speakers such as Louise Hay, Abraham Hicks, Iyanla Vanzant, and Gary Zukav, 
profoundly changed my life and my perspective of it. These are just a handful of mentors, 
as there are so many more teachers that I am grateful for.

Some of their books include:

You Can Heal Your Life- Louise Hay
The Law of attraction-Abraham and Esther Hicks
In the Meantime- Iyanla Vanzant
The 5 Love Languages- Gary Zukav

Most of, if not all of these books are available to you online or in your local library or bookstore. I guarantee that you will not be dissapointed, these insightful mentors have a wealth of valuable and life changing information to support your journey to emotional healing and wellness journey.

Healing looks different for everyone.

That is one of the most important things to remember in life.

There is no competition here. All that is required is that you go forth at your own pace, do what is comfortable for you, and share what you have learned along the way.

We must be supportive towards one another.

Your path to healing requires active participation.

99.9999% of the population suffer from emotional wounds, 
and while some are more clever of hiding their suffering than others, 
everyone has a story and we are all healing from something.

Most of us have the idea that it is just too late to start a healing journey, but the thing is, you are already on that path.

It lead you here, did it not?

You have the right to change your mind!

And your Thoughts!

I write this post with the intention of being a supportive friend. 
Every word, written mindfully, with compassion and love. 
I too have had many days where I suffered in my mind. 
For many years my own thoughts plagued me. 
Until one day I made the decision to change the way I think. 
I promise you it was the best decision of my life.  
Mostly, my healing journey was a solitary one, 
which is why I created this post for you, 
so you know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

LOUISE HAY- CHERISHED author and MENTOR of many.

Louise Lynn Hay (October 8, 1926 – August 30, 2017) was loved by everyone she met.
 She authored numerous books on the subject of self~love, self~compassion, 
and emotional healing.  Published in  1984- You Can Heal Your Life, sold over 35 million copies worldwide 
and has been translated in over 30 languages; becoming one of the best-selling non-fiction books of all time.
 Louise Hay also founded Hay House publishing, home to countless amounts of spiritual, emotional, 
and mental wellness advocates and authors.

Louise hay showed me how to love myself again.

My journey began when I found a copy of her book "You Can Heal Your Life." 
It was within the pages of this book where I read some of her most treasured teachings on self~love and emotional healing.
 I am so grateful to Louise Hay for supporting me on my path towards self~love and emotional healing.

Deep at the center of my being…

"Deep at the center of my being there is an infinite supply of love. It is inexhaustible. I can never use it all in this lifetime. 
So I don’t have to be sparing with it. I can always be generous with my love.

Love is contagious. When I share love, it comes back to me multiplied. The more love I give, the more love I have. 
I have come to this world to be a love giver. I came in full of love. And even though I will share my love all my life, 
when I leave this earth I will still have a full and happy heart. If I want more love, then I have only to give love. Love is and I am.
 I rejoice in the love I have to share."

Louise Hay, 2016

One of the first steps to changing my unhealthy thought patterns was to take a step back and acknowledge my emotions, whatever they were, and to locate within myself the origins of those emotions.

Most of them were rooted in the subconscious of my childhood mind. I realized that my fears came from my experiences from being sexually abused as a child and witnessing mental and physical abuse in my childhood home, and Feelings of abandonment { Daddy Issues} from being seperated from my father at the age of 5.

I came from a background where showing your emotions were a sign of weakness, and when I did muster up the courage to speak, I was dismissed. I felt invisible. Unloved. Alone.

My path to healing has been a long one... but I am still standing.

Again, this was and still is an ongoing process and many years of dedication to my healing process.

Healing from adverse traumatic experiences takes time, and there is a shitload of unraveling that needs to take place.

Some days are just plain ugly, but the rewards outweigh them all.

Mindful Meditation

Mindfulness Meditation~ allows you to focus your attention inward. 
Noticing your breath, your emotions, and whatever feelings may come to the surface. 
 As these sensations become more noticable, you are presented with the opportunity 
to learn from them without placing any judgements on yourself or the experience.

Observe your internal and external environment- without judgement.

Mindfulness meditations help you to become more self-aware. 
When you pause for a few moments and check in with yourself~ how you feel and what you are thinking, 
you gain insight and begin to develop better self-patterns for healthier and more positive thinking.

The more you do it the easier it gets, thats why its called practice.

Your mind is a MUSCLE!

Affirmations

Affirmations are phrases we say, or affirm to ourselves, either quietly or out loud. They can be written down or memorized. They can be long or short. They can be about whatever you make them to be.

Troublesome feelings of hopelessness, unworthiness, despair, and loneliness are a constant part of so many lives today.

These feelings often lead to anxiety, depression, and an overwhelming state of fear, causing stress on the mind, body, and spirit.

Whenever you say something to or about yourself- that is an affirmation. One of the reasons that it is so very important to be mindful of the words you say and think, because I promise you your brain does not know the difference, it only believes what you tell it.

“A belief is a thought you keep thinking.”

~Louise Hay

Affirmations have become very popular over time and many people praise them for changing their lives for the better.

Various books, medical journals and studies, social media groups and pages all dedicated to affirmations have surfaced over the decades.

Affirmations help us to replace unhealthy destructive thought patterns with more healthy and constructive ones. They help us to change the way we think and feel about ourselves, giving us the strength to face our day with a sense of hope and love.

Affirmations often begin with the words…

“ I Am…”

I am Worthy.

I am Blessed.

I Am loved.

If you are new to affirmations these are a wonderful start to your healing journey. You can write them on a sticky note or in your journal, you can put them on an index card or carry them with you in your purse or wallet. Do what is best for you.

Journaling your thoughts

One of the best ways to keep track of your thoughts is by cultivating the practice of journaling. 
There is no right or wrong way to do it either. It is the simplest way to get all those annoying 
and repetitive thoughts out of your head. The best part is that you only need three things: 
something to write with, paper, and you.

When I was a child I kept many diaries, volumes and volumes, 
my step-father came home one night and threw them all away. 
I did not write my thoughts down after that. 
It took me 40 years to get back in the habit of expressing myself.

If you are looking for a journal, I have a selection at the end of this post that I published myself.

The importance of being able to express your emotions and not being judged by them is critical to the evolution of us all. 
When we are free to be allowed to let ourselves be vulnerable, we are free to be our most authentic selves. 
I am grateful for my emotions. All of them. I have learned so much about myself through my feelings and my creative expression.

Journaling is a way for you to see exactly how you process your thoughts and emotions, and help you to recognize your positive and negative self-patterns. It also gives you the opportunity to make positive changes in your life.

When you begin your journaling process, do not censor yourself. 
Write exactly how and what you are feeling.
 Things may come up that you thought you had long forgotten about.
 Those negative thoughts will show themselves, let them and give yourself grace to feel your feelings.
 Dedicate a time that works for you and a space that you will not be disturbed. 
I like to make myself a cup of tea or light a candle or some incense. 
Create for yourself a sacred space, this will allow your thoughts to flow freely.

Some journal prompts for you:

In this moment I feel...
Who inspires me? Why?
When do I feel safe?
What brings me peace?

Spiritually Speaking

I grew up with a pentecostal mother and a catholic stepfather, so I hug trees.

I have a special love in my heart for nature and the universe and I believe in a source greater than myself, my divine creator. I believe in unconditional Love, and its power to heal. I love the Psalms, and I believe in magick. This is who I am.

My Spiritual practice and my belief in something greater than myself has been a massive source of love, strength, and support as I navigate my human experience. It is my unwavering faith that allows me to wake up every day with a grateful heart, knowing that no matter what obstacles or challenges I may face, I am strong enough. I am loved.

This is my

human experience.

Just some things I have learned along my journey in this world. We are all here for a reason and I wrote this for you because I know it is difficult here. our world is changing right before our eyes. I want the best for you on your journey. Had I known at least one of the things that I spoke about even 10 or 20 years ago, but that is how it goes.

So, remember what we talked about today:

Manage your thoughts
Do not let your brain control how you feel or think
Listen to your emotions- they are guiding you
Your journey is your own. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
Life is amazing even when its not.
Your have the power to change your mind and your thoughts.
I am…
Your past circumstances do not define who you are today.
Be present in all of your moments.

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A free gift from me to you!

The Self Love Club Society (FREE)
Digital Journal Download PDF

Some handy dandy links:

Tea Time Gratitude Journal

You Have The Power -Ebook

What You Think You Create

Manifestation Journal

Mind, Body, Spirit -Meditation Journal and Self Care Planner

Sage and Affirmations 2025 Calendar